The modern world as we know it has gone. After a year of living in a bunker, deep below the sea, I emerge. I hear of a place near the Mendips; a refugee city. There, I am told, several clans have formed. They live in peace, side-by-side, in this post-apocalyptic planet. There are the magpie-machinists, creating new machines from the old. There are the enviro-futurists, seeking new solutions to the ever present energy deficit. There are tribes within tribes.
These clans have hubs within the city, and blend harmoniously into its ever dominant cohesive force: entertainment. I go there to join each clan briefly, in search of reconciliation with society and this place we call Earth. I seek solace and elation with the sound-scapers, the jibe-jokers, the stilt-walkers, the enviro-futurists and the magpie-machinists.
And that was the message I sent around work on Tuesday 22nd June...
Glastonbury Festival stitched together all the little holes in my soul. I had the most perfect time. I grinned and I grinned. On seeing my delight, the populous grinned back. It was magic. It was like Christmas.
Here are the notes I made at the time. Most of them were typed in July!
Rating system (from very best to very worst):
Fucking Awesome, Ear Candy, Thumbs Up, Not for Me Thanks, Hideously Awful
*** Thursday 24th June, 2010 ***
Tankus for Henge
Greenpeace Stage
Ear Candy
Tankus for Henge create pure festival music. This was the perfect way to kick off the musical adventures in cow land. How a band manages to sound like jolly summer fun, living in tents and eating soya sausage rolls I have no idea.
Seize the Day
Greenpeace Stage
Not for Me Thanks
Seize the Day have this thing they do at Glastonbury. They put circular stickers in toilets advertising their shows. I think they may have done this since before the Big Bang. Although I have frequented the festival for the last 19 years, I hadn’t seen the band before. I’m sorry to say that I don’t intend to see them again. They make earnest political folk with cereal box lyrics, aimed at people who are barely awake, with simple thought processes. They veered into a la de da da da, occasionally got jazzy, and are probably incredibly lovely people. Bastard Card MasterCard indeed. I left early.
Egyptian Hip Hop
The Queens Head
Not For Me Thanks
Perhaps this band has been thrust into the limelight too soon. They offered one firm track, and I could hear promise in two others. The ‘one’ firm track was instrumental. Perhaps the lack of vocals is telling. I suggest they use samples instead of vocals, or sort out the singing. Based on this performance, as ‘genre magpies’ Egyptian Hip Hop are a very poor man’s version of Super Furry Animals or Casio Kids. The genre fusion kings are streaks ahead of Egyptian Hip Hop, and fusion is far from new or uncommon.
Rosie Wild – Why I became a New Age Traveller
Speakers Forum
Thumbs Up
My own prejudgement of this act led me to believe that Rosie Wild was a New Age Traveller who was going to present documentary style coverage of her life and life choices. In reality, she is a researcher for The Children’s Society. They boast a fantastic project called New Travellers, Old Story. The online resources are far more informative than the talk was, but it was good to see the travellers role in making what Glastonbury Festival what it is recognised. Their input is what has made Glastonbury Festival so different and far more special than any other. Hats off to them! A million thanks from me.
Chapel Club
The Queens Head
Thumbs Up
Chapel Club offer polished brooding goth-pop, with silky deep vocals. The lead singer swapped rapidly from charming cheeky geezer to emotional crooner in a confusing manner. They often sounded formulaic instead of inspired.
The Cheek
The Queens Head
Ear Candy
I caught 3 songs from The Cheek before Local Natives came on. I was pleasantly surprised. The end of set cheeky indie dance tunes sounded pretty damn good.
Local Natives
The Queens Head
Ear Candy
This Americana style Indie Folk offered nectar for fans thirsty for live music. Much crowd jostling demonstrated one thing: this music is ‘IN’. It makes 17 year olds go wild. Respect to the new generation. Jostling to melodic folk is odd. It is also quite wonderful.
*** Friday 25th June, 2010 ***
Rolf Harris
The Pyramid Stage
Fucking Awesome
Rolf Harris is an absolute one-off, which is fucking brilliant and a damn shame. Why can’t we all be like Rolf? 80 years old and as cool as fuck. Yes, he does warrant all this swearing. He was fucking ace. We were grinning and singing and glee was all round. Two Little Boys indeed.
Debate: Climate Change
Leftfield
Not For Me Thanks
The debate was Personal Responsibility versus Government Responsibility. I admit I stayed for 20mins only. The earnest preaching to the earnest doesn’t float my boat. An inspiring, rallying speech is what’s needed: one that makes you think twice about your next holiday flight or inspires you to grow a forest, for real.
O.Children
East Dance
Ear Candy
If Interpol fall apart following the loss of Carlos D, O.Children are waiting in the wings. The deep rumble of depression was immensely uplifting.
The Greening of Glastonbury Festival
Speakers Forum
Thumbs Up
Emily Eavis was supposed to be speaking, but she couldn’t (too much K perhaps!). Nonetheless, it was interesting and good to see that alongside the corporate takeover of Glastonbury, the organisers invest considerable time, thought, organisation and money into ‘being green’.
Bombay Bicycle Club
John Peel Stage
Fucking Awesome
The tent was as hot as hell itself. Despite the inhumanity, we stayed because BBC were worth every trickle of sweat and every gasp for air. In the last year, their live show has blossomed. I loved the acoustic set last year, but I no longer demand ‘unplugged’. All the same, I am gutted that the acoustic performance heading for Brighton is sold out. I tried to buy a ticket...
Steve Mason
The Park
Fucking Awesome
Mr Beta Band himself played songs from his various personas, including himself, The Beta Band and King Biscuit Time. His new material is wonderful. Please do listen. Steve Mason was on absolute form. I’m sad that I missed the start whilst hiking up the hill, but very happy to have witnessed such greatness. According to the NME he played these gems: Lost And Found (Steve Mason), Am I Just A Man (Steve Mason), All Over You, The Letter, Boys Outside, All Come Down, C I Am, Dr Baker, I Walk The Earth. I am tempted to listen to them all in that order now and just might. Oh, he also tempted us to petrol bomb parliament in a call to arms!
Vampire Weekend
The Pyramid Stage
Thumbs Up
They offered summery fun, there is no doubt, but how does a relatively new band already sound so old? The sun was shining directly at our eyes. Maybe the sun was to blame. The blinded and dazed looked on without awe.
Fanfarlo
Queens Head
Ear Candy
Fanfarlo met us with an offering of dreamy wistful youth folk. Facial hair is in. I am sure of this now.
Hot Chip
The Other Stage
Fucking Awesome
This was a gritty bouncy set, which only veered off course once and amusingly so. What was going on with those guest vocals? Even the band took to giggling, which made it all okay.
Broken Bells
The Park
Thumbs Up
I only watched 2/3s of this set, as I needed to head down the hill to see The Flaming Lips. Mostly I felt unsure, but there were a couple of good little tunes.
The Flaming Lips
The Other Stage
Ear Candy
Wayne Coyne has gone toy mad and the toys are both ridiculous and awesome. Unfortunately, gadgets and playthings led to a stilted set, with clumsy breaks between songs. The set suitably dipped in and out of the various reincarnations that have shaped The Flaming Lips long career. While it was wonderful, the Flaming Lips Soft Bulletin set in the New Bands Tent – yes, before John Peel died – trumps the 2010 set hands down. Both events included a crowd lovingly singing and grinning along to ‘She Don't Use Jelly’. Ten year on... still tip top.
Arcadia All Stars
Arcadia
Fucking Awesome
Insect-like acrobats crawled around the Palace of Arcadia. Jets of Fire belched upwards. Bolts of electricity left the hands of humans and conjoined. The throb of the bass united the All Stars, the populous and me. Eyes wide with wonder were all about.
Mathilda
The London Underground
Fucking Awesome
Playing inside an imposing building with a London Underground train embedded into its front, art installation and music combined. Surprisingly like a small underground club, the fields were a thousand thoughts away. With an international vibe and lyricism, this was hard jungle. There was only one choice: dance.
Rufus Hound
Cabaret
Thumbs Up
Well, he started with dick jokes, and they weren’t funny. Apparently, all guys think about is ‘blow jobs’. This is their reason for doing anything ever: blow jobs. Okay, it’s meant to be funny, divide the sexes with man’s amusing secret. A simple premise indeed, but not for me Marcus Brigstocke walks on stage, hugs Rufus and as if by magic the material improves. Rufus has read from the Book of Bill (Hicks). He offers a watered down version, but when he drops the dick jokes, he becomes quite endearing.
*** Saturday 26th June, 2010 ***
Here We Go Magic
The Park Stage
Thumbs Up
I only caught the last three songs. They were pleasant.
The Ballad of Broken Britain with Special Guests
The Park Stage
Thumbs Up
While the three acts did not play music to suit my tastes, I loved the medieval touch. A female Morris Dancer in ‘The Belles of London’ wore a horse’s head. The collective end song was far lovelier than the sum of its parts.
Frankie and the Heartstrings
The Park Stage
Thumbs Up
50s garage indie. The lead singer had a quiff to match his swagger.
Hidden Orchestra
Arcadia
Ear Candy
I stumbled across Hidden Orchestra, stopped and allowed my jaw to drop. A dark and broody immensely cool sound came from Arcadia in the middle of the day. With 2 drum kits, samples, a bass, keyboards and violin, the sound was heavy but bouncy. The sun soaked revellers grew in numbers, drawn towards this sonic offering. Little by little, many feet found the beat. They took to moving to its rhythm.
Beach House
The Park Stage
Ear Candy
They boast some lovely tunes, but sound difficulties, intense heat and sleep deprivation, led to a comatose if happy mood in The Park.
Chiddybang
West Dance
Not For Me Thanks
The reason this isn’t rated Hideously Awful is due to a freestyle interlude that was reasonably impressive. Chiddybang offered absolutely awful samples overlaid with bland and constant rapping. The two seemed completely discordant. I only saw the full set because the show was running late. I didn’t intend to see it at all.
Giggs
West Dance
Thumbs Up
This is a man with talent. A memorable hook or two could take him the extra yard. Then again, memorable hooks could undermine his strength.
United Vibrations
Busking
Ear Candy
Busking at the intersection of Pyramid, Dance and Other, I admired their ingenuity and their masks. They sounded pretty good too.
The Cribs
The Other Stage
Fucking Awesome
Oh Johnny Marr and your low slung guitar! There were a couple of weak moments but who cares. The Cribs pulled it out of the bag and to be honest I doubted they would. Indie wins.
Billy Bragg
Leftfield
Fucking Awesome
Does what it says on the tin. Top form. We all had a great sing-a-long and wondered where to start marching. The BNP losing all their seats in Barking and Dagenham should have us all jumping up and down with delight and believing that people power can work. The Milkman indeed! We drank well on his offerings.
Jamie T
John Peel Stage
Fucking Awesome
I love Jamie T. A lot of people love Jamie T. He told us that playing Glastonbury had made him feel like doing a little poo. He was as great as great can be. Both times that I’ve seen Jamie T playing Glastonbury, I’ve been gobsmacked by how many people know every single word of his complex lyrics and can sing along accurately when they’re delivered at such pace. I have weeks of homework just to catch up!
Bluescreen Short Film Festival
Groovy Movie Picture House
Ear Candy
I particularly enjoyed Little Face, starring Adam Buxton and his imaginary friend.
Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer
Croissant Neuf
Ear Candy
I liked his version of the Prodigy’s Out of Space. He’s a posh comedy rapper and has an amusing show.
*** Sunday 27th June, 2010 ***
The Joy Formidable
Other Stage
Fucking Awesome
The Joy Formidable boast the coolest front woman on earth. She gets away with gleeful guitar shredding when she probably shouldn’t.
The Bees
West Holts
Ear Candy
The Bees are still going, providing proper middle-age, middle-class festival music fodder. The set was bouncy, summery and bright and just right for a lunch time pick me up.
Avi Buffalo
The Park
Fucking Awesome
AMAZING. Avi has made a beautiful album. He was a little shy and a little worried about the sound, but it was a lovely set. Even the guitar shredding - perhaps he saw The Joy Formidable earlier - was glorious. At half my age, this band is brill. I stood in awe.
Temper Trap
Other Stage
Not For Me Thanks
No, no, no! I had to walk away quite quickly. This review is based on 1.5 songs.
The Black Eagles
Circus
Fucking Awesome
The Black Eagles are acrobats from Tanzania. They have been on Blue Peter. They are pretty special and definitely have the “Wow factor”.
Routledge and Bailey
Circus
Ear Candy
Routledge and Bailey cuddle on a rope, moving gently from one position into another.
The Wall of Death
It’s Own Pit
Fucking Awesome
Please throw money into the pit. No one will insure the bikers that ride the wall of death. We climbed to the top and peered down. We quickly raised our heads as tyres raced up the wall and offered us a quick ‘n’ rough shave.
Robin Ince
Cabaret
Ear Candy
Robin Ince rants with the best of them. It was fun. It was also a lovely sit down.
Get Up Stand Up with Isy Suttie, Marcus Bridgstock and Tony Benn
Blazing Saddles
Ear Candy
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Awareness show offered an odd mix, but was pleasant enough. Marcus and Tony are always a delight to watch.
MGMT
Other Stage
Fucking Awesome
I may be swimming against the tide, but MGMT have grown from a band with a couple of amazing tracks to being an amazing band. There is a difference. The un-coordinated liggers disco was ace. Liggers like being onstage.
The Middle East
Queens Head
Ear Candy
Is this Aussie Americana? It sounds nice. I felt that the female vocals should be utilised more. More lead female vocals please.
No Fit State Circus
The Common
Not For Me Thanks
This act was running very late. This meant waiting in a cold and dark field while a terrible house band did my nut in. The acrobatics were good enough, but the show was slow and lacked coherence. I had to leave before it finished. Late start band clash syndrome kicked in and, well, it hadn’t lived up to expectations.
Dan le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip
Queens Head
Fucking Awesome
I found a mound and the perfect view. I have no doubt that this was the best headliner to end Glastonbury 2010 with. The crowd was bouncing. The crowd was singing. I could see and I was grinning. Again, I got to celebrate the BNP losing all their seats in Barking and Dagenham. Pip’s nod of honour to Billy Bragg’s positive rallying cry said it all. At Glastonbury Festival everyone’s in it together. And if you're feeling the hippy spirit by the end of Sunday, you're a cold hearted bastard!
I closed the festival with a dance in Shangri-La’s Body Shop. I think the DJ was called Fuckrad McGrinty. If he's not, he should be. It's an ace name. The sound was hard and dirty. Shangri-La is an amazing place. It’s like walking into a sci-fi film from the 70s / 80s. Technology has taken over, but the world has gone to shit. It’s a fantastic slum and a true piece of art. Dark humour abounds. Glastonbury Festival, we love you.
Have a humble crumble festive time and see you at Glasto next year!
Fabpants Recommends:
A celebration of the above.
Download MP3: Avi Buffalo - What's It In For (courtesy of thefmly.com)
Download MP3: Bombay Bicycle Club - Ivy & Gold (courtesy of devotionmagazine.se)
Download MP3: Steve Mason - All Come Down (courtesy of stereogum.com)
