Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Hang Nails and Paper Cuts

In the morning, the streets are empty. It’s five days later; not twenty-eight. In afternoon, the streets are full. Hordes of zombies, given a taste of fierce consumerism by festive decadence, want more. They jostle on pavements, queue in cars and fill their free time with the only hobby they know.

Some of us work. Work is a great place to be when no one else is there. Music plays, needless junk is discarded and all the jobs - that there's never time to do - get done. I always choose to work over the winter bank holiday season. I like to save my precious leave for adventures and sunshine.

Today, I left the office later than expected, dressed and ready for the gym. Standing outside the office, I stared at my wonderful two wheeled 'go faster' machine. It sat in its usual spot, resting on its stand, and looking bare. It lost its AXA SL7 rear mount lock yesterday. The lock refused to open and I had to take a drill to it. It’s the only power tool we have, but it did the job. The missing SL7 lock wasn’t the problem. It looked VERY bare. Usually, my bike wears three locks, and after a double take, I realised its free-range status; it was a lock free bike in the heart of town. It was as though someone had walked off with the locks and not the bike.

Who would pilfer the locks, which they would surely have to break to take, and not steal the bike? No one of course.

I, the stupid ‘I’, had left my precious and much loved bike in a vulnerable state all day. Meanwhile, my locks sat in the shed at home. How had I not noticed? Well, as usual, it was a chain of events that led to my precariously foolish behaviour.

The Five Stages of Dim

1. When my city bike locked itself shut, my cable and d lock found themselves transported to my mountain bike.
2. A well-needed festive gift – a mirror – attached itself to my bike last night. I rather successfully snapped it in two on arriving at work this morning.
3. My keys, which usually sit inside my forcibly removed SL7 lock, were on my person and not my bike. I didn’t have to lock my bike to retrieve them.
4. I walked into work thinking about broken mirrors.
5. My dear, dear bike sat resting on its stand, not even against a wall or post, on the far side of a pavement, outside a well-used community centre, ALL DAY. People stood staring at it, belched out of the building for the intake of cancer sticks, and many more walked by.

The last two times ‘a chain of events’ led to one of my bikes being unlocked or poorly locked, I had no bike to return to. A very lucky me rode home today.

I would most certainly have cried if it had been any other way.

If you think that Fabpants might be descending into madness, I spent last night unable to sleep, smiling and giggling. I have no idea why. It might help explain this morning though. I’ve gone loopy.

Fabpants Recommends: Watching Sigur Ròs’ film ‘Heima’. It’s the right time of year to watch Iceland’s populous, in their fabulous 80s style knitwear, enjoying their best export.

Here are some tracks to chill to (preferably in the warm):

Download MP3: Sigur Rós - Ágætis byrjun (courtesy of amazon.com)










Download MP3: {{{sunset}}} – Moebius (from the 2008 album ‘Bright Blue Dream’) (courtesy of autobusrecs.com)







Saturday, 20 December 2008

What ARE those Trees Thinking?



Fabpants Recommends: Sticking with the festive theme, a risky business for sure, here's one from Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine's Jim Bob and Fruitbat. Who’d of thunk it?

Download MP3: Who's The Daddy Now? - A Daddy Christmas Eve (courtesy of mapsmagazine.co.uk).

Yes, it's a bit of an old one, but I just found it on Maps Magazine's 2008 Advent Calendar. Sorry, but it won't play in my little music player, and I don't upload music myself. You'll have to download it this time. I assure you that it's worth your precious time.

The advent calendar also includes tracks from Norwich's fabulous Bearsuit, Homescience, MJ Hibbett and The Long Blondes. Go check it out. It's pleasantly DIY.

Friday, 19 December 2008

Gig Review: One More Tune Herman Dune

Herman Dune, Duke of York’s, 18th December 2008

Last night in the ever-wonderful Duke of York’s Picturehouse, I sat with a box of popcorn resting on my lap and watched bands where a film should have been. David-Ivar Herman Düne and Néman Herman Düne, did what Stanley Brinks (aka André Herman Düne) should have done at The Hope. They played a hell of a lot of songs, some two hours worth and some real belters. Néman Herman Düne was particularly amazing on drums and percussion. Really! I found myself mesmerised by the drummer.

I was particularly delighted when they played this truly charming number:
Download MP3: Herman Dune - I Wish That I Could See You Soon (courtesy of littleradio.com)









I posted the lyrics up some time ago, so if play the song and open my post of 29 January 2008 you can sing along. Neat, eh?

The only downside of the wonderful cinema gig was that it started very late and ended at midnight. Cosy in my chair, and drifting along with the lovely sounds, I almost nodded off. It was so easy to relax. I hate to say 'too easy'. Can it ever be 'too easy' for all your worries to slip away and to find yourself asleep?

I should not neglect to mention that support act and backing singers, the Baby Skins, delighted us with a lovely tap dance. A rare treat for sure.

Fabpants Recommends: A twee and indie Christmas.

Download MP3: Slow Club - Christmas TV (courtesy of acertainromance.com)







Monday, 15 December 2008

Not as Green as I am Cabbage Looking

I have a personal rule. I don’t own a car and I have a limit of hiring one three times a year. Brrm brrrm. Beep beep. Yeah.

In 2008, I hired a car twice: once to see Granny Fabpants in Staffordshire and once to travel across Malawi with my brother. I’ve decided to end my car hire for the year there. Christmas will be by train. There were debates, and there was research, but the decision is final. The train won. Choo choo. Mind the gap. Yeah.

Despite setting us back £109, travelling by train is still cheaper than hiring a car, plus fuel, and it’s the ethical thing to do. Cars kill the planet and give children asthma. They also nearly kill me each morning. Fucking school run.

It’ll mostly be a car free Christmas, but it won’t be sanctimonious

While, I do my bit for the environment, I am the first to admit that it’s not enough. I may buy trees in exchange for flights, opt for green electricity, and bicycle – in a permanent state of fear - about town, but...

...I live in a shitty rented flat, where the wind blows hard through rotten window frames and the heating is caught in an eternal battle to keep us warm. I’m always leaving the hob on by accident and I like baths. I like baths a lot. I was the sole cause of the great water shortage of 2005. Crops died while I bathed. If the flat burns down because the hob has been left on, I’ll probably be in the bath.

Over the years, my extensive knowledge of environmental matters has fallen by the way. I know that agreements to save the world from climate change were on shaky ground last week. UN climate talks in Poland had European leaders rubbing their heads. One by one, their commitments became fewer and it became increasingly hard to save appearances. As usual, they wanted to look like the great environmental saviours of the West, with superhero capes and CO2 reduction sabers, but doing bugger bollocks all is, as ever, so much easier. Shift responsibility, trade emissions and build more runways. Running away is always a good option.

Who wants to invest in saving the world, when financial collapse is likely to eat us in our sleep and the ever-expensive pistachio nut is threatening to become a unit of currency?

Perhaps we all do. Want to see the solution to all our woes? Well, read ‘A Green New Deal’ and prepare yourself for a treat.

You can download a PDF of it here:
A Green New Deal

Don’t give a shit? Think that climate change is a myth? Sure that we’ll find a new planet to trash pretty soon? Who cares? Well, read it anyway. Why? Because it has the best summary of the 2008 financial collapse that I’ve yet to encounter. You can always read the ‘Financial Crunch’ section and ignore the rest.

I also really enjoyed this article:
The 10 big energy myths by Chris Goodall

Fabpants Recommends:

Download MP3: The Lovely Eggs - Tyrannosaurus Rex for Christmas (sorry, this link has died)


Find it on Cherryade Records: Cherryade - A Very Cherry Christmas volume 4

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Gig Reviews: Your Mum Will Be Very Proud of You

I know, it’s been a while. Life got hectic and then I collapsed. I slept for sixteen hours on Sunday night. Divine. I’ve been ignoring a stalker-like virus for weeks. Fair play, it put up a long hard fight, followed me everywhere and deserved to win. I surrendered. All hail the virus.

Stanley Brinks, The Hope, 30th November, 2008

Fujiya & Miyagi, Pavilion Theatre, 3rd December, 2008

I sniffed through Stanley Brinks, spent two bleary - but lovely days - in Norfolk and then sneezed a thousand times to the fine tunes of Fujiya & Miyagi. Ask the band, I was down the front. The ceaseless sternutation was striking. Someone near me was crawling with dust mites and I was fucked. It’s been a while since I sneezed so much. I curse the allergy that haunts me. The musical geeks had me bopping all the same. I can’t remember the details, but through an allergic haze and a cold infested head it tasted sweet and bouncy.

The night before, Stanley Brinks had been disappointing. He played a short set sandwiched between the ‘shit rock’ support act that was Ish Marquez. I didn’t take to Ish Marquez. It was painful. I'm sorry Ish, but that's the way it is.

I try to accentuate the positive on these pages, but I was there for as much Stanley Brinks as the man could give and I felt robbed. For such a prolific and wonderful musician, the set was stunted. It left me wanting more in the worst kind of way. I wasn’t there to watch the headliner play bass in a second rate support band, before and after his short serenade. I was there with a longing to be whisked away by the sweet, sensitive lyrics of a bearded genius. He should have played more of his own. André left me hanging.

This wonderful opening track from 'Dank U' was notably absent:

Download MP3: Stanley Brinks - Stanley Brinks (courtesy of musiclikedirt.com)









Let’s hope that the Herman Dune set is better. Nine days and counting...

Two more nights out and the end credits scrolled. GAME OVER. No Club Wotever for me. Being out eight nights in a row, and eleven out of fourteen was enough. I challenge anyone ten years my junior to compete mid-winter, and to hold down a job. Yes, the sniffles are part of the package. And yes, as well as being an employee, I am also self-employed. I’m busy in every direction. I also love sleep. I really love to sleep.

All the same, I have been listening, reading and filling my brain with nuggets to share.

The following is a series of 999 call recordings, as included in The Guardian on 29th November. I would have shared them earlier, but I could only listen to one at a time. They all made me cry. I felt the love, the fear and the bravery. I recommend listening to one a day, and no more.

The epileptic fit (courtesy of guardian.co.uk)










The birth (courtesy of guardian.co.uk)










The fire (courtesy of guardian.co.uk)










The cardiac arrest (courtesy of guardian.co.uk)










The Heimlich manoeuvre (courtesy of guardian.co.uk)










Fabpants Recommends: This is late in coming, but - without much fanfare - Bonnie "Prince" Billy, slipped another album through this year.

‘Lie Down in the Light’ is a soft and beautiful album. It’s not Bonnie "Prince" Billy at his best, but it's close. An enchanting echo of his finest work resounds. Try these out for size.

Download MP3: Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - Easy Does It (courtesy of thelookback.com)










Download MP3: Bonnie "Prince" Billy - You Remind Me of Something (The Glory Goes) (courtesy of earitnow.com)







Sunday, 30 November 2008

Gig Review: Singing in the Dark to No one

Pete and the Pirates – Concorde 2

Last night, as I cycled my merry way home, a happy sigh left my body. It was cold, dark and wet. A smattering of drunken revellers ambled along the promenade. I felt wonderful.

Sigh complete, I sang all the way home. Sometimes my arm reached out to the world, just as it had only moments before. I was high. I was high on live music. Alcohol free and happy, I had a one-lady sing-along, with and to no one.

Pete and the Pirates are and were truly amazing. For once, I found myself with an audience that whole-heartedly agrees. Particularly impressive, was the throng of lads that had travelled all the way from Madrid, just for an intimate Brighton gig. Whilst Pete and the Pirates are a lesser-known entity in their homeland, they seem to have conquered a small quarter of Spain. Good for them.

“We travel around the world to see bands”, my new friend said, “We’ve seen the Arctic Monkeys and The Strokes”. Pete and the Pirates so deserve to be included in that sentence. “And this gig is so cheap”, he added, “Just £7.50.” Yes, it was. It was even cheap for the Concorde 2.

While Pete and the Pirates have the good looks and the rip-roaring tunes, their personalities seem better aligned to those of anti-folk renegades. They are an endearing band.

In the moshpit, the audience fell under this very charm. We sang our hearts out, the Spaniards shouted mysterious requests, and a happy bubble of fans bounced for joy. When the music soared, foreign arms would curl around my shoulders or waist, and buoy me along. We were as one and it was fun, fun, fun.

And too much fun for one. When a Spanish hand snuck its way under my t-shirt, I politely removed it. Enthusiasm has its limits. Needless to say, I will still treasure the moment that a handsome man, 15 years my junior, tried to cop a mischievous feel. I will also treasure the kiss that his friend politely planted on my cheek. That was after I'd allowed him to rip off and take away part of my mask.

Yes, for the last two nights, I’ve worn masks. It’s the best solution to hiding wrinkles in a young environment. For two nights in a row, I’ve entertained young suitors. Why didn’t I think of it before? I have a reasonable figure, so why not hide the face, and highlight my assets? Okay, the mask wearing was far from intentional and I don’t really need an extra lover, but it was great fun.

Mask 1, Friday 28th December:
At Club Mayhem, the great DJ that is Amongst the Pigeons filled the room with pigeon masks, whilst adorning his own - as cool as fuck - cat hat and shades. A stroke of paraphernalia genius and a belter of a DJ set.

Mask 2: Saturday, 29th December:
At the Concorde 2, Pete and the Pirates volunteered to be the backing band for support act, Connan Moccasins, who were a few members short. They disguised themselves with gaffer tape moustaches and eyebrows, and the more inventive made their very own head masks. Entitled 'The Gimps', they provided additional vocals, a bassist and wonderfully childish dance routines. When, at the start of their real set, they threw the masks into the crowd, I won. It seemed churlish not to wear it. I ended up with a cardboard and gaffer tape inspired ‘gimp-come-animal’ headset on for the full length of the set. I loved every minute of it.

I’m getting into this mask wearing. Maybe I should wear one tonight for Stanley Brinks.

Fabpants Recommends:

Download MP3: Pete and the Pirates - Mr Understanding (courtesy of auralstates.com)







Saturday, 29 November 2008

Gig Review and More: Ear Worm

For two days this song has happily co-existed with my mind:

Download MP3: Public Enemy – You’re Gonna Get Yours (courtesy of getthecurse.com)









Despite filling my head with music for hours on end, it persists. I rather like it. It’s there for no other reason than to give me pleasure. So suckers to tha side, I know you hate my 98. You’re gonna get yours. And yours is another gig review.

You might not have heard of this one. I do my research. I go out. Going out is fun. If you can, go out today. If you can't, then live through me. It's my treat. I love it.


MC Fashion – Tom’s Gallery

Last night, I had the great pleasure of attending Club Mayhem, at Tom's Gallery, where I caught the wonderful MC Fashion.

MC Fashion reminded me of a younger and freer Kid_Carpet, minus the children's instruments. Instead, with a laptop, guitar and wildly co-ordinated dance moves, the MC guru fused happy hardcore, ska and amphetamine laced bleeps. With pure enthusiasm, and his own brand of shouty style lyrics, MC Fashion pulled off a unique and enthralling performance. Top notch.

Fabpants Recommends:

Download MP3: MC Fashion – Pressure Drop (sorry, this link has died)

Download MP3: MC Fashion - Dawnin Of a Nu Era (sorry, this link has died)

Did someone request a bit of Helen Love? If MC Fashion hasn’t put you in the mood, what will?

Download MP3: Helen Love – Does Your Heart Go Boom? (courtesy of www.box.net)









It’s a golden happy hardcore oldie. It’s a great gym track. It’s an advertising whore.

I have also added the music player to all my old MP3 links, so please go back and listen. It involved some research, as some links had fallen by the way. I don't host MP3s myself, so enjoy the gift of others. I do.

Gig Review: I Have Nothing to Say about My Life

Gigs are like buses. You wait patiently for ages, and then they all come at once. My blog is going to turn into a gig diary, and you’re all going to hate me. Sorry.


I’m From Barcelona – Concorde 2

While I’m from Barcelona’s new album isn’t awash with the same gleeful pop gems as their debut, their live show remains bloody brilliant. On Wednesday night, at the Concorde 2, paper planes, giant balloons, glow sticks and confetti were rife. With a mix of songs old and new, the 12 strong band, stole a room full of hearts and melted my mind. With Soko in support, who could ask for more? Not me.

Fabpants Recommends:

Download MP3: I'm From Barcelona - Paper Planes (courtesy of nastypanda.com)









As the best band of Latitude and End of the Road 2007 - by far - I hope that 'I’m From Barcelona' will return to the UK festival scene in 2009. Pretty please.