A Guest Entry by Mr Tresvant

Spoiler Alert: only read the next five paragraphs if you like Movie Trailers or Book Forwards

My wife and my dead wife. Am I the only one that sees her? My wife and my dead wife. Doesn't anybody see her at all?

Mr Tresvant would probably rather you didn’t. He may sometimes wish her dead, but she isn’t.

Sean McGuire probably wishes that he'd jumped of a tower block and succeeded in death or permanent hospitalisation. That Aidan Brosnan character had it easy.

Mrs Tresvant is the source of all ills.

The best thing about having a difficult wife is the days off.

My Favourite Day
By Ralph Tresvant

MY favourite day of the week is Wednesday because that’s when my wife gets the bus to Skipton with her friend Mrs Devoe.

Mrs Devoe looks like Gordon Strachan and she stood for Parliament last time round under the Euro Sceptic banner. She has energy that one – she posted over 4,000 campaign leaflets in one day... to 3,000 houses. She didn’t get in – she was beaten into third place by someone running under the Slightly More Euro Sceptic banner.

Goosnargh’s not received a penny from Brussels since them two were at it. She was right to be sceptical was Beryl.

Anyway, my favourite day of the week...

Wednesday is the one day of the week when I know I won’t get any calls from the police saying Mrs Tresvant’s been arrested for cutting people’s hair in the queue at the Post Office. And it’s the only time I get to reply to all the emails and letters from Sean McGuire’s solicitors... cease and desist orders I think they call them. I can’t help it if Mrs Tresvant didn’t like him giving up his pop career.

The traders in Skipton don’t like Wednesdays at all. That’s the day when my wife and Mrs Devoe hit the market and throw sponges in puddles. There’s been talk of an ASBO being served but everyone else round here loves Wednesdays so much they help the wife contest it each time.

Yours in magic marker

Ralph Tresvant


Tresvant Recommends:

Download MP3: Anvil – Hair Pie (sorry, this link has died)



Anvil’s fortunes have changed. Perhaps Mr Tresvant’s will too.