Hang Nails and Paper Cuts

In the morning, the streets are empty. It’s five days later; not twenty-eight. In afternoon, the streets are full. Hordes of zombies, given a taste of fierce consumerism by festive decadence, want more. They jostle on pavements, queue in cars and fill their free time with the only hobby they know.

Some of us work. Work is a great place to be when no one else is there. Music plays, needless junk is discarded and all the jobs - that there's never time to do - get done. I always choose to work over the winter bank holiday season. I like to save my precious leave for adventures and sunshine.

Today, I left the office later than expected, dressed and ready for the gym. Standing outside the office, I stared at my wonderful two wheeled 'go faster' machine. It sat in its usual spot, resting on its stand, and looking bare. It lost its AXA SL7 rear mount lock yesterday. The lock refused to open and I had to take a drill to it. It’s the only power tool we have, but it did the job. The missing SL7 lock wasn’t the problem. It looked VERY bare. Usually, my bike wears three locks, and after a double take, I realised its free-range status; it was a lock free bike in the heart of town. It was as though someone had walked off with the locks and not the bike.

Who would pilfer the locks, which they would surely have to break to take, and not steal the bike? No one of course.

I, the stupid ‘I’, had left my precious and much loved bike in a vulnerable state all day. Meanwhile, my locks sat in the shed at home. How had I not noticed? Well, as usual, it was a chain of events that led to my precariously foolish behaviour.

The Five Stages of Dim

1. When my city bike locked itself shut, my cable and d lock found themselves transported to my mountain bike.
2. A well-needed festive gift – a mirror – attached itself to my bike last night. I rather successfully snapped it in two on arriving at work this morning.
3. My keys, which usually sit inside my forcibly removed SL7 lock, were on my person and not my bike. I didn’t have to lock my bike to retrieve them.
4. I walked into work thinking about broken mirrors.
5. My dear, dear bike sat resting on its stand, not even against a wall or post, on the far side of a pavement, outside a well-used community centre, ALL DAY. People stood staring at it, belched out of the building for the intake of cancer sticks, and many more walked by.

The last two times ‘a chain of events’ led to one of my bikes being unlocked or poorly locked, I had no bike to return to. A very lucky me rode home today.

I would most certainly have cried if it had been any other way.

If you think that Fabpants might be descending into madness, I spent last night unable to sleep, smiling and giggling. I have no idea why. It might help explain this morning though. I’ve gone loopy.

Fabpants Recommends: Watching Sigur Ròs’ film ‘Heima’. It’s the right time of year to watch Iceland’s populous, in their fabulous 80s style knitwear, enjoying their best export.

Here are some tracks to chill to (preferably in the warm):

Download MP3: Sigur Rós - Ágætis byrjun (courtesy of amazon.com)




Download MP3: {{{sunset}}} – Moebius (from the 2008 album ‘Bright Blue Dream’) (courtesy of autobusrecs.com)