I'll Cut The Smile Off Your Face

“Don't talk down to me. Don't be polite to me. Don't try to make me feel nice. Don't relax. I'll cut the smile off your face. You think I don't know what's going on. You think I'm afraid to react. The joke's on you. I'm biding my time, looking for the spot. You think no one can reach you, no one can have what you have. I've been planning while you're playing. I've been saving while you're spending. The game is almost over so it's time you acknowledge me. Do you want to fall not ever knowing who took you?”
More from Jenny Holzer from Inflammatory Essays, [no title] 1979-82
Tate Modern: Level 5 - Idea and Object. It hurts the eyes.

While I thoroughly appreciate the essay that appears in this sickly square of colour and the essay shown in Scream When Your Life Is Threatened, as a piece of art, Inflammatory Essays is quite revolting. It is inflammatory.

Talking of inflammatory materials, I, for one, actually enjoyed the Brand and Ross call Sachs radio clip. I’m no great fan of either Brand or Ross, but it genuinely made me laugh. The lewd unguarded silliness reminded me of the fantastic works of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, otherwise known as Derek and Clive.


From Derek and Clive - Get the Horn

Clive: I tell you something. That, that religious singing reminded me of something. Did you, did you see that, er, TV coverage of the, er, Pope when he was lying in state? The, the last Pope, you know, John Paul.

Derek: Yeah.

Clive: Lying in state, on that catafalque? In those robes. It didn't half give me the horn, that. Him lying there. He looked so fucking vulnerable, didn't he? I mean, like I, I couldn't prevent myself, you know, having a wank immediately cos he looked, he looked vulnerable, he looked at, at rest and, er, somebody had, er, gone to the trouble of plucking all that hair out of his nostrils.


From Derek and Clive - Ad Nauseam

Clive: I said, "we've been married fourteen years ...

Derek: Right.

Clive: ...and you've tried a number of things. I was about to get into the Guinness Book of Records for the longest yardage of snot

Derek: Phhwww!

Clive: ...between one nostril and the wall, and you let me down. And shall I tell you what I'm going to do NOW? I'M GONNA GET THE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS TO RECOGNISE ME .....

Derek: (laughs)

Clive: AS THE NUMBER ONE CUNT KICKER-IN IN THE WORLD!!" AND I SPREAD HER LEGS APART AND I PUT MY HUGE GREAT NAILED SHOES ON AND I KICKED HER! AND I KICKED HER IN THE CUNT FOR HALF A FUCKING HOUR 'TIL I WAS EXHAUSTED! AND THEN I SAID, "DOLLY! WILL YOU GET A POLAROID OF THAT?!" And the cunt wouldn't even get up!

Derek: What a CUNT!


Fabpants Recommends: It’s Ladies Night in Fab Town.

Download MP3: Speech Debelle - Speech Therapy (sorry, this link has died)



Download MP3: Speech Debelle - Searching (courtesy of dansolomon.com)




Download MP3: Emmy the Great - We Almost Had A Baby (courtesy of awmusic.ca)