Toenail Cutting Service Required

When I play computer games, I have to sit with my nose almost pressed against the bright screen of speed, action and adventure. I can’t aim a car, a weapon, or a person, unless my eyes are at least a metre away from the screen; 40cms makes me a potential winner. The screen might be 15” or 36”; I have to be just as close no matter what. It’s like a secret law of physics that only applies to me. When I cut my fingernails I like to hold my fingers at least 5cm away from my aforementioned nose. My fingers are in great peril if I don’t. I currently have one foot with raggedly cut toenails and chunks of missing skin and another which could be used to catch small rodents. In conclusion, fireworks are ace, but health and safety measures should always be adhered to.