Gig Review: I’ve Got No Friends; Not One

It is hard to say when I first saw The Bobby McGees. They formed in 2002. I have seen them many times over the years.

I have a distinct memory of them supporting Misty’s Big Adventure at The Ocean Rooms in 2005. Needless to say, Misty’s Big Adventure are one of my favourite bands ever. On the night in question, I do believe that My Geek and I were ‘the audience’ in its entirety. The seemingly vast room was - for the most part - empty. What were the people of Brighton thinking?

Despite playing for just us, themselves and each other, both Misty’s and The Bobby McGees put on amazing shows. Jimmy McGee, a natural showman, tempted us with threats to shave off his impressive moustache. I saw him at a Kid Carpet gig two weeks later. The moustache - now a gloriously oversized beard - still adorned his fresh young face.

Last night, I went to ‘The Acoustic Room’ upstairs at The Three and Ten. Forty-six chairs greeted me in small neat rows. It was wonderfully civilised. Three acts played to the most attentive audience on earth.

Once again, The Bobby McGees were brilliant; gloriously twee, sentimentally sweet, and mischievously funny.

Eleanor’s perfectly formed - and misleadingly innocent - singing voice, sat in wonderful contrast to Jimmy’s friendly, broad and slightly brash Scottish intonations. With two ukuleles, a double bass, a melodica, a recorder and a xylophone, The Bobby McGees served to amuse and delight. Giggles and guffaws echoed about the tiny room and a permanent smile added wrinkles to my face.

If you ever get the chance, go to see The Bobby McGees. Alternatively, kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Why don’t you just fuck off and die?

If you are in doubt, here are some more lyrics for you:

Ivor Cutler is Dead.

I’ve got no friends, not one
I’m a sad and lonely little boy
I’ve got no friends, not one
Not a single little friend in the world

And I’ll go out on my own
And I’ll stand on my own
And I’ll dance to the Smiths on my own

I’ve got no friends, not one
I’m a sad and lonely little girl
I’ve got no friends, not one
Not a single little friend in the world

I walk home on my own
Sleep on my own
Never to be kissed again

I’m much too old and twee
A girl like that would never fancy me
I’m just a minger and a geek
That boy probably thinks that I’m a freak

“Gasp”
Oh no, he’s looking over here
She’s looking at me
I think he’s trying to talk to me.

Can, can I be your friend?
I’ll be a real sweet friend
I’ll be the sweetest little friend in the world

Oh no, just friends
That means, that he really doesn’t fancy me

We’ll share a drink all night
And we can dance to The Smiths
But, I’ll still be walking home on my own

Yeah, we’ll be friends
We’ll be real sweet friends
We’ll be the sweetest little friends in the world

Yeah, we’ll be friends
We’ll be really close friends
Closer than any boy or girl

And we’ll watch Top of the Pops
And we’ll dance lots and lots
And never, ever, ever grow up
Yeah, we’re just friends

Fabpants Recommends: The Bobby McGees 'Yes Please'. The Bobby McGees are not tested on animals.