BBC Glastonbury Mini Site
The last time I watched Glastonbury on television was very late at night. Bill Odie was hanging out with hippies, interviewing random people and pretending to be mates with The Hothouse Flowers. In the presence of a campfire, frightful songs were performed and, barely awake, I wished that ‘Body’ had better taste. It was a very long time ago. It was in 1989. I still lived in Norfolk and although my sights had been on Glastonbury for many years, I had yet to go.
For those of you that haven’t twigged, Glastonbury is in term-time. In 1991, I finally had no school or exam clashes. I bought a ticket and, without knowing anyone else that was going, I knew that I had made one of the best decisions of my life. I’ve been to every non-cow grazing year since.
I fell in love with festivals when I was 10. My parents stole me from a hideous Girl Guide camp and showed me an alternative. I'd been having a terrible time trying not to do my best and to damn my duty to god. Camping in the local recreation ground, surrounded by a very conservative village fete, was no fun. I never fitted in with the Brownies or Guides and there was very little to do in the village. When I found myself in a field full of pot smoking, guitar-strumming hippies, I was awestruck. As we drove away at the end of the day, I stared longingly out of the rear window, and wished that I could stay forever. “Those are my people”, I wanted to say, “The people that I know are not.”
Of course, Glastonbury has changed. It has cash machines now. It has a big fence and up to the minute television coverage. Since ‘the best party on earth’ found its way onto the magic picture box, the wider world’s impression of the festival has changed too. People used to have to lie to their employers when taking a few days off work to go mental in Pilton. You had to be a drug addled freak or weirdo to go to such a place.
Now, I come home from Glastonbury to hear impressive orations about which bands rocked and which bands sucked. The best are from people that have never been to a festival in their lives; not even V. For many years, it’s felt as though my own personal Glastonbury stories are unable to compete with those relayed by the person that’s watched it from home; the person that’s had a soft warm sofa to pass judgement on and a real bed to sleep in.
“Pah”, has always been my second thought. Glastonbury is immense and unless you’ve been there you will never understand. The circus, the theatre, the comedy, the hippies, the comfy crappers. The bicycle powered PA, the solar powered cinema, the freaks, the bumblebee oven. The permaculture, the skateboard ramps, the ballroom dancing, the juggling workshops. The clay modelling, the adventure playgrounds, the dodgems, the pencil making classes. The impromptu performers, the animatronic robot zoo, the steam powered boats, the milk round and the many, many stages. If I cloned myself a thousand times, I would still miss something quite truly amazing at Glastonbury.
In some ways, I hate meeting up with someone that I know at the festival. They will tell me about some wonderful experience that they’ve had, and I will feel envious. I will ask myself why I didn’t choose to be exactly where they were. Coming home is worse. People will have seen all of the highlights. They look puzzled when I admit to not having watched ninety percent of the bands that they saw on their big fat television screen.
Glastonbury is immense. Glastonbury is the best place on earth.
What follows is a list of the performers that I did see this year (not to mention all those wonderful freaks, weirdos and field acts).
Rating system (from very best to very worst):
Fucking Awesome, Ear Candy, Thumbs Up, Not for Me Thanks, Hideously Bland
Thursday, 26th June 2008
| Carnival Collective, Leftfield | Thumbs Up |
| Seal Cub, Leftfield | Ear Candy |
| Elle S’Appelle, Leftfield | Thumbs Up |
| The Rascals, Leftfield | Hideously Bland (lots of swagger) |
| Rodney Branigan, Mandela | Thumbs Up (I powered the PA) |
| Glitzy Bag Hags, Small World | Fucking Awesome |
| Kangaroo Moon, Tadpole | Thumbs Up |
Friday, 27th June 2008
| The Rascals, Other | Hideously Bland (twice?!) |
| The Subways, Pyramid | Ear Candy |
| Get Cape, Wear Cape, Fly, Pyramid | Thumbs Up (wish I got a free cape!) |
| Vampire Weekend, Other | Fucking Awesome |
| Lightspeed Champion, John Peel | Thumbs Up |
| The Young Knives, John Peel | Ear Candy |
| The Ting Tings, John Peel | Thumbs Up |
| Inshowen Gospel Choir, Tadpole | Thumbs Up (kazoos are ace) |
| We are Scientists, Other | Thumbs Up |
| The Fratellis, Pyramid | Ear Candy |
| Dizzee Rascal, Park | Ear Candy |
| Pete Doherty, Park | Fucking Awesome (except the encore) |
Saturday, 28th June 2008
| Shakin’ Stevens, Pyramid | Thumbs Up (in loving memory of my first disco) |
| Emmy the Great, John Peel | Ear Candy |
| Los Campesinos, Other | Fucking Awesome |
| The Teenagers, John Peel | Not for Me Thanks |
| XX Teens, Dance East | Ear Candy (with the best dancers ever) |
| Black Kids, Other | Ear Candy (amazing at times and ropey at others) |
| Simon Munnery, Cabaret | Ear Candy |
| Jeremy Hardy, Cabaret | Ear Candy |
| Elbow, Other | Thumbs Up |
| Amy Winehouse, Pyramid | Ear Candy (amazing voice, horrible audience) |
| MGMT, Park | Fucking Awesome |
| Battles, Park | Fucking Awesome |
| Dubious, Rathole | Ear Candy |
| CSS | Fucking Awesome |
Sunday, 29th June 2008
| Black Mountain, Other | Not for Me Thanks |
| Marcus Brigstock, Leftfield | Ear Candy |
| Tony Benn, Leftfield | Ear Candy |
| Neil Diamond, Pyramid | Ear Candy |
| Florence and the Machine, Queens Head | Ear Candy |
| Pigeon Detectives, Other | Not for Me Thanks (lad rock, anyone?) |
| Spiritualized, John Peel | Fucking Awesome |
| Wall-E, Cinema Outside | Ear Candy (fat people in space are ace) |
Gutted to have missed:
Glasvegas, Alabama 3, Sons and Daughters, Metronomy, Operator Please, The Cribs, Manu Chao, Billy Bragg, Leonard Cohen, Noah and the Whale, Lykke Li
Fabpants Recommends: Noah and the Whale. Get your slippers on and watch them here:
Noah and the Whale on Channel M
If that doesn't warm the cockles of your heart, listen to Shape of My Heart and 5 Years Time
Yes, I am very gutted that I missed them at Glastonbury. The Sunday clashes were heartbreaking.
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